just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
