Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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