yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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