No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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