I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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