i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
