I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
