He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This house was built for laser tag.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
