I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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