Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
