HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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