i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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