Apparently you make a good broom.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
