I'll bet she douches with gravy.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
