There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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