I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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