Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
