How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
