Sponge bath it is.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
