Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
