We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
At least life still wants to fuck me.