I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.