but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.