My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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