I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Porn is love you can see.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
