Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
