Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize