I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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