Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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