I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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