Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
