So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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