Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
