Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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