I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
