hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
