my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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