Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
