Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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