i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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