Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
