Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
