I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
