He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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