He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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