The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
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Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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