You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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