You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I bet he comes in French.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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