Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hippo gnu deer
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
