Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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