May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
