hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
