and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize