i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
