i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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