well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I got inside last night via doggy door
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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