I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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