i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
