Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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