I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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