Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
