And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
