I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
