Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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