Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
